CRT and SID
"The Countryside Restoration Truss is there to support proper farmers. Which I don't mind doing, just so long as I don't have to do any actual farming. Well, when it come to digging and delving, and hedging and ditching, and all that sort of stuff I'm more of a theory man. Well, anyone can do a hard days work in the rain and the mud and the wind, but not everyone can think about it proper.
"Where I get to the practicals is when me and the Truss have something particular in common. That's through the other organisation what I'm in, which is CARP - the Campaign for Real Poaching. We try to get things like increased cover - not so much for the wild life as for the people going after it. And the banning of man-traps, due to them being unfair to women.
"What you get with the CRT is lots of wild animals, and birds, and butterflies, and wild flours - which are wholemeal, but not necessarily organic. You get proper bits of land in different parts of the country where everything live in harmony - although strictly speaking its more polyphony, but you can't all be a musical expert like me, due to me being Sid Kipper COF (Cerstificate Of Folking).
"Which bring me to what I am best at in the practicals which is singing, so here's a bit of a song by my uncle George what says it all, and if it don't it certainly says quite a lot of it:"
THE NEW-FANGLED FARMER
Oh
the lark in the morning she rises from her nest,
Sing
hay to me dithiocarbamate;
She
takes to the air with the dew on her breast;
Let's
spray with some tri-chloride phos-ee-phate;
By
the end of the day she has done quite a mileage,
Folderol,
whack on some simazine;
She
returns to her nest - it's been cut down for silage,
To
chlorotoluron and atrazine.