Limericks from The Limerick Challenge, a regular feature of BBC Radio Norfolk's long running feature, Should The Team Think?

On Cromer Pier, Sid was challenged to rhyme 'Happisburgh' (for non-Norfolk speakers, this is generally pronounced 'Hazebru'):

A visiting lady from Asia,

Said "How they talk here would amaze ya:

Typhoo, it is written

Put the T into Britain,

So who took the P out of Happisburgh?"

At Foulsham Sid got 'Hollyhocks' and 'Crysanthamums' (Florry is a shortening of Florence):

Old Archibald looked at his hollyhocks,

His bright red hot pokers, and jolly phlox.

He cried mama mia;

Cez bonne, and zapia;

Well, he was a multi-tongued polyglot.

There's things I can do with a hollyhock

That make every Flora and Florry flock

When I do them to Polly

She's awfully jolly;

But sadly they only make Molly mock.

  Chrysanths are sometimes called mums,

Though they never have bulging great tums.

They don't bring up brats,

Or have cosy chats,

And they've made not one child do their sums.

Now pretty young Chrysanthemum

Was known for her pert little bum.

It was shaped like a peach,

It was there, within reach,

So he soon found that peach was a plum.

At Gorleston the word was that Sid had to rhyme the Norfolk village of 'Kelling':

There was a young lady from Kelling,

Her young man's illusions dispelling;

She said heavens above,

The true price of love,

Depends if you're buying or selling.

There was an old lady from Kelling,

Who was known throughout Norfolk for smelling.

When they said what's that pong,

So horrid and strong?

She broke wind, and said "That would be telling".

The return to Gorleston, for a Christmas show, brought forth 'Crackers':

While sat in a bar in Caracas,

Two beautiful girls played maracas

When I pulled them they snapped,

Then quickly unwrapped -

Blast, they were a couple of crackers.

At the old swingers do special crackers:

The one with the bass guitar's Macca's.

The one with Steinway

Belongs to Russ Conway,

And the one with the clarinet's Acker's.

Great Yarmouth's show had a cinema theme, so the challenge was 'Rudolph Valentino':

One day old Rudolph Valentine

Went to Brook for a bit of a beano.

He said "In my view

It's so charming and new"

But the locals said "Well, what do he know?"

At seventy Rudolph Valentino,

Wed an eighteen year old sweet bambino.

When they asked at the station

If there'd be procreation

She replied "Now you're taking the pee, no?"

In the film of The Sheikh Valentino

Took the girl to his tent prestissimo.

She was quickly undressed

Till she wore - can you guess?

Just a fig leaf, and two maraschinos.

At Kings Lynn it was another Norfolk village - 'Inglesthorpe':

A pretty young lady from Inglesthorpe,

Was shocked when she saw her jingles warp.

"The married", she say,

"Look politely away,

But my goodness, how all them singles gawp"

There was a young lady from Ingle

Come over one day all a-tingle.

"I feel such a thrill",

This young lady did trill,

"In places both plural and single".

An Inglesthorpe widow, though squireless,

In sleeping with men was quite tireless.

She treated each session

With utmost discretion:

Now it's all been exposed on the wireless!

At Sid's Norwich stamping ground, The Maddermarket Theatre, the village was nearby 'Thorpe Marriott':

There was a young girl from Thorpe Marriott,

Liked to drink, but she just couldn't carry it.

She'd quaff with a zest,

Then whip off her vest,

And kiss every Tom, Dick and Harriet.

There was a young man from Thorpe Marriott,

Fought the Romans with only a lariat;

He closed his eyes tight,

Threw with all of his might,

And pulled Ben Hur out of his chariot.

Down south, in Saxlingham Nethergate, Sid's village was 'Scarning'

There was a young lady from Scarning,

About her fiancé was yarning;

"He's as keen as a whip;

He can't wait while I strip.

So my gussets forever need darning."

There was a young lady from Scarning,

Who was beautiful, witty and charming.

She was very well read,

And a pleasure in bed;

Such a shame that she took up pig farming.

There is an old boy come from Scarning,

Whose habits are something alarming.

It's not that he calls

Wearing only his smalls,

But the fact that they need lots of darning.

At Sedgeford it was 'manure', which Sid chose to rhyme Norfolk fashion:

When Mabel fell in the manure,

Her language could not have been bluer;

The things she proposed

Could be done, I suppose,

But only by an agile kung-fuer

To get the best out of manure,

Just grill a few lumps on a skewer;

The rich earthy flavour

Will be something to savour -

Though your number of friends will be fewer.

When they asked me to write on manure,

My ideas could not have been fewer;

Nevertheless,

I think this should impress

The EDP's poetry reviewer.

When Martin went spreading manure,

The stench was much worse than a sewer.

From a haystack it drove a

Half-dozen wild rovers;

Four maidens and one lost canoer.

To produce the finest manure,

Feed loads of hay to a mooer.

Then stand back and wait

While the gasses inflate;

Just be ready to see a shampooer.

At Sheringham the challenge was 'squit', a much used Norfolk term meaning nonsense, or rubbish:

A gardener from Guist did admit

His rose-growing secret - this is it:

From a horse it is dotted,

Then very well rotted -

Shall we call it a load of old squit?

To make this here programme a hit,

Take some people of wisdom and wit.

Stir in some direction,

Half-bake to perfection,

And you'll end with a load of old squit.

It was back to villages at Watton, with Sid getting the task of 'Pickenham':

There was two old ladies from Pickenham,

Wandered into the dressing room at Twickenham.

They said "All them peks,

Just by turning our necks -

Blass, that didn't half give us a crick in 'em".

There was a young couple from Pickenham

Got married, but sex only sickened 'em.

She said "It's the pits

That he's got all them bits;

Let alone where he's thinkin' of stickin' 'em".

And so the series goes on, with Sid ready for whatever the programme throws at him.

"Just so long as it's not New Buckenham".