Lord Hardwick

Lord Hardwick

Lord Hardwick appears on the Sid Kipper album East Side Story.

Lord Hardwick he a-hunting went, with his hawk and his hounds and all

And along with him went his two foot soldiers, twenty-four inches tall - just twenty-four inches tall.

They looked low, he looked high, with his broadsword in his hand;

Each nook and cranny they did search, they beat the bushes round - but no game could be found.

And as he crossed the river wide, with his hawk and his hounds and all,

He rode high above the tide, while his two foot soldiers swore - it was three foot deep or more.

And when he reached the further bank, with his broadsword in his hand,

He saw a maiden bathing there - she looked just like a swan - but with no feathers on.

Lord Hardwick he did stop and stare, for clothes were all she lacked;

And Cupid's arrow piercéd him - he lost his heart, alack - when she swum on her back.

Lord Hardwick he did stop and stare, with his broadsword in his hand;

His spaniel it did prick it's ears, and his pointer it did stand/

Now this maid swam to the bank, she stepped ashore with ease;

He dried her body with his cloak, while the soldiers dried her knees - that was all that they could reach.

Said he "Fair maid, pray tell to me, what is your father's name?"

"Oh my father's name is Partridge" - said he, "And are you game?"

"Oh sir, I fear you startle me, with your broadsword in your hand;

I am but a poor maiden, and you a well endowed man - with a bulging purse and land".

Said he "Fair maid pray say that I may have your maidenhead;

Just say I may and I will give you half my purse", he said - "or an equal prize instead".

"Then I pledge to you my maidenhead, and I'll take half your purse;

Oh now my maidenhead is yours - the deal can't be reversed - but you must find it first".

Lord Hardwick thought the bargain fair, with his hawk and hounds and all;

To the searching for her maidenhead his soldiers he did call - though their interest was small.

Then how she laughed, how she scoffed, at his hawk, his hounds and all;

"The thing that you have bought so dear, I lost it on a horse - while riding in the gorse".

"So now that horse belongs to you, and half your purse is mine;

Now that horse belongs to you, so ride, you beggar, ride - and I hope you're satisfied".

He cursed high, his soldiers cursed low, for the spoiling of their hunt,

And the maid she went off laughing for she'd fooled them back to front - it was such a cunning stunt.

And with the purse that she had won her own true love she wed;

They happy were, and all because, no matter what was said - this maiden used her head.