The Whaleman's Complaint

This song is part of Sid's magnificent maritime show.  There is some suggestion that the song comes from Cromer, which surprises many residents, as the town isn't normally associated with whaling.  Maybe that's what the whaleman is complaining about.  In other versions his complaint is something much nastier, caught from a dockside doxy, but that clearly couldn't happen in Cromer, if only because of the lack of a dock.  Which is another good reason for not building a marina, if you ask me.

(A version of this song was released in 2004 as Sid's contribution to 'Someone Was Calling', a compilation album in aid of Cromer lifeboat's bicentenary.  Other contributors include John Tams, The Sheringham Shantymen, Fairport Convention and The Cromer Smugglers.  If not sold out, available from www.musikfolk.co.uk)

A is for 'Anchor', to butter our bread;

B is for 'Blubber', what we get instead.

C's for the 'Cook', he's full cordon brown,

and D's for the 'Drink', in which we'll all drown.

We're big and we're brave, we're brawny and bold;

But what use is that when it's dark - wet - and cold.

E is for 'Effing' - we do till we're blind;

F is for 'Fathom' - we can't, why we signed.

G is for 'Gunwhales' - the sort that fire back;

H is for 'Hal Yard', and his brother Dock.

I is for 'Irons', you'll be clapped there in shame,

J is for 'Judies', who charge for the same.

K is for 'Knots', we tie them so true,

And L is for the 'Lookout' - he can get knotted too.

M is for 'Missed'; what the harpooneer cries;

N is for 'Navy', they're nautical but nice.

O is for 'Ocean' - it's wet, and it smells,

and P's 'Peg-leg Pete'; that describes him as well.

Q is for 'Quicker' - the mate's constant cry;

R is for 'Rollocks', our constant reply.

S is for 'Save' - our souls from this woe;

T is for 'Thar', which is whar the whale blows.

U's the 'Utensils' used by a tar;

V is for 'Vice' - well, you know what sailors are.

W's for 'Walter', who cried mutiny;

and X marks the spot he was buried at sea.

Y is for 'Years', the time we expend.

Z is for 'Zero' - our reward at the end.

That's all the letters this simple tar's knowing;

It's being so cheerful as keeps us all going.

We're big and we're brave, we're brawny and bold;

We're all turning green from mildew and mould;

We're big and we're brave, we're brawny and bold;

But what use is that when it's dark - wet - and cold.

Copyright Chris Sugden, 2003