All Things Are Quite Equal

All Things Are Quite Equal

This song seems to give no indication of the gender of either of its actors. Indeed, the penultimate line hints that they may even have been close relatives. They are, in fact, whatever the listener thinks they are, and let's hear no more about it.

All Things Are Quite Equal appears on Sid's album Like A Rhinestone Ploughboy

A young person was a-walking one morning in May;

Met a second young person a-walking that way.

Said the first of these people; "I have Spanish leather,

And oh, 'tis my wish we were bonded together".

All things being equal our screws will be loose;

What's sauce for the gander is juice for the goose.

"For the way I respond to the charms that thou haste

I just cannot tell you, lest you feel harassed.

But you are so comely, and so fair of face,

How I long to enter your personal space".

Said the other "I'm willing, if you would agree,

To place you above me, and then underneath".

To a mossy green bank these two persons did haste,

And there, in a meaningful way, interfaced.

Both parties were eager, both parties were brisk;

Both failed to ensure 'gainst a third party risk.

And so, nine months later, as I understand,

A third person singular came, all unplanned.

Now the first person declared without guile;

"For your sweet sake I would lay down my life-style".

So these two were married, like sister and brother,

And over the threshold they carried each other.