Bobby Dazzler  

Bobby Dazzler on Sid's album Boiled In The Bag.

Words and music were in The Ballad Of Sid Kipper, now out of print.

Sid Says:
"Bobby Dazzler came from Bacton.  He was born there, he lived there, and he died there.  So really he didn't so much come from Bacton as stay put in Bacton, as a matter of fact.  He was famous around our parts for running away from sea.  He only went out the once, and when they come back he said he weren't never going no more, on account of the boat going up and down.  He said it was daft having the boat go up and down like that - it'd make more sense to keep the boat still and let the sea go up and down instead.

"So he left the Dazzler family fishing business and set himself up as a mole catcher.  He weren't much good at mole catching, though.  Well, no, he was very good at mole catching, but terrible at mole killing.  He hadn't the heart for it, so he used to catch all these moles, and then let them go again.  Eventually he teamed up with my great, great, great uncle 'Dirty' Herbert Kipper, who couldn't catch a mole to save his life, but really liked killing them.  Bobby lived to a ripe old age, due to never having a wash."

Chorus:

Bobby Dazzler's gone to seed, legs all buckled at the knee,

When he gets home he'll fall asleep, shoddy Bobby Dazzler.

Once his eyes were brightly blue, of a clear and shining hue,

Now they're dull and bloodshot too, groggy Bobby Dazzler.

Once the girls he did bedazzle, every night out on the razzle,

Now he lives with Reg & Basil, in a home for clapped out sailors.

Chorus:

Once he strode around so grand, all the girls fought for his hand,

Now he's just a dirty old man, sorry Bobby Dazzler.

Once no matter what he drank, his mind was sharp for any prank;

Now he's two bricks short of a plank, dotty Bobby Dazzler.

Chorus:

Once he was a proper gent, like a flashing blade he went,

Now he's a blunt instrument, ploddy Bobby Dazzler.

Once his back was ramrod straight, now he's bent and overweight

Pretty soon he'll be the late bonny Bobby Dazzler.

Chorus:

Now the news has come today, Bobby Dazzler's passed away;

All the girls will cry "Hurray! goodbye Bobby Dazzler;

Goodbye Bobby Dazzler".

Copyright Chris Sugden 1993/1996