The Bodyline Collapso

The Bodyline Collapso

In 1931 Trunch played Burningham in the famous Bodyline match. The tale is told more fully in the story of The Burningham Bodyline, which is published in Sid's fine folio Cod Pieces, but this song, written in the style known locally as 'collapso', adds much colour, if little light.

The Bodyline Collapso appears on Sid's album Like A Rhinestone Ploughboy

Cricket, it wasn't cricket, at Trunch where I saw it;

When Trunch came in to bat, the bowlers tried to knock them flat;

Burningham said it wasn't fair, 'cos they got the runs off their underwear.

With those two great pals of mine, Albert Kipper and Douglas Sardyne.

Burningham batted nicely - scored 159 precisely;

With just two wickets falling, nothing could stop them scoring.

Sardyne was out of luck - run out for a duck -

Captain Albert Kipper grinned, and straightaway he turned to spin;

He got dizzy - what a shock - he threw the ball to Arthur Haddock!

Now Haddock was quite unfit, his hand had only two digits.

But though this was quite tragic, it made his bowling magic.

He sent one spinning down, the batsman played all round;

He raised his hand & cried 'Howzat?', but the umpire raised 2 fingers back

The only time I can recall, two men out to a single ball.

Haddock was in heaven - he took 8 for 7,

And Burningham were all done, for 171.

Haddock he was glad, but his team were hopping mad;

Now they had to go and face the Burningham boys terrible pace.

With those two great pals of mine, Albert Kipper and Douglas Sardyne.

Now Gilbert Silver-Darling found Larboard quite alarming.

He watched him mark his run-up, which beyond the boundary come up;

The umpire he called 'Play', Larboard was on his way;

Like the very wind he sped - to ask the umpire what he's said.

To save time he lobbed one down, and Gilbert hit it out of the ground.

Now this raised Larboard's anger, so he made his run-up longer;

You can guess Gilbert's opinion, as he raced in from the pavilion.

But at the crease he stalled, and Larboard said 'No ball!' -

He'd left it in the pavilion, so the umpire lent him another one.

To save time he lobbed one down, and Gilbert hit it out of the ground.

Now Larboard he decided this was getting a bit one-sided,

So he walked back and he kept on, to the other side of Knapton.

But then, alas, alack, he couldn't find his way back;

They say he ran o'er dale and hill, and for all I know he's running still!

With those two great pals of mine, Albert Kipper and Douglas Sardyne.

Now to every wicked bouncer Trunch had the perfect answer,

As the batsmen neatly forced it off their reinforced Bodyline corsets.

Though some of them were out, to a CBW shout,

The rubber that those batsmen wore sent the next ball bouncing off for 4.

They got the runs, but so would you, the way those wicked bouncers flew!

So victory was completed, and Burningham was defeated;

Though Sardyne he was sour, it was Trunch's final hour.

Man of the Match, no doubt, leg byes - 140 not out.

Albert Kipper eased his stays, and said 'We won it by fair play';

Sardyne, he said 'No such thing - your lot had to cheat to win';

Captain Kipper clenched his fist, and said 'Bad losers make me sick';

Sardyne said did he mean him? - a fight broke out and we all joined in,

With those two great pals of mine, Albert Kipper and Douglas Sardyne,

With those two great pals of mine, Albert Kipper and Douglas Sardyne.